PINKI's TIME in JAIL

Shh. JEEVES is Listening

"Don't I get one phone call !"... It's kinda true; you get

free 60 second phone calls in the pit but after that it's

".20 cents *pause* for the first minute and *pause* .20 cents for

each additional minute *pause* plus applicable flees *pause*

and the maximum call duration is *pause* 15 *pause* (impatiently

hating these few seconds) minutes.....

thank you for using GTL"

     The second part of my incarceration included {thanks to prayer and

other forces leading to "sober"-ness} some money on my books; which

evolved into phone time. My mom had put time on just her number too.

So we could talk all the time but, talking to your "better half", your

family and especially your kids, was the best it got in there for everyone.

     I was able to afford a phone call twice a week-ish [for some odd reason they

always gave me an extra few cents; or a minute or two]. I got to talk

to my other half which we will call NOMAN for the sake of story. But

only after he got out his own visit to our lovely prison system.       moving on.

.    We are supposed to set up a login of sorts when we first get there,

" WITH GTL MY VOICE IS MY PASSWORD". 

So naturally some people couldn't get there

passwords to work because when we first arrive in jail we are pissed,

annoyed, emotional and a wreck in general. So, by the time you leave

you have a perfect GTL voice ritual which you have to talk like a

robot or perfectly monotone or nor get in at all. Mine was agitated

and couldn't get it to work if I sounded to happy.

The phone booths have a big blue sign that reads: "PHONE CALLS ARE

SUBJECT TO RECORDING AND MONITORING....".

Everyone knows you never say

anything you don't want known on the phones. In my mind (my crazy

imaginative mind), there was an invisible PCJ staff like person who

eventually fell in love with my phone calls then my visits. By the end

of my stay the phone would warp and pop and fuzz. Which it was rumored

was the tell-tale sign of their efforts of monitoring and/or

recording. So, I imagine someone liked my phone calls, they where

interesting and amazingly inappropriate at times. Let's call him

JEEVES. My mom and I where over the top on topics such as sex and bad

humor and fairies. Sometimes they where so odd I felt terribly (and

laughably) bad for him.

One time, at the end of a conversation, (at the the minute mark the

GTL bitch says: "ONE MINUTE REMAINING"):

 NOMAN says something vaguely provocative

PINKI: Don't do that, I'm super sexually frustrated.

NOMAN: You? I'm surrounded by nothing but animals!

PINKI: Hey, there are always chickens!

NOMAN: hey, did you know chickens die when they fuck?---

" THANK YOU FOR USING GTL, GOODBYE"

end of joke: every chicken I fucked died! lol, bad joke! =}

POOR JEEVES, he heard me tell NOMAN to fuck a chicken and NOMAN add it

would die.

I really wonder what the poor thing thinks. lol. I conceptualized the

imaginary JEEVES and thought he would play rock-paper-scissors with

other PCJ staff peoples for the chance to listen in on my odd convos.

Maybe my visits too. you never know. My mom liked shoving her nostrils

into the camera. poor creepy observer peoples watching poor creeped

out PCJ Inmates. My "BIG BROTHER" footage (and files for that matter)

would be worth watching. Maybe one day I'll ask JEEVES (another bad

joke). He's now a permeant fixture of my jail story, whether made up

or not. JEEVES: nerdy, slightly hunched, near-sighted and creepily in

on everyone's business. sitting there all day getting paid to listen

to very personal conversations between inmates and there loved ones.

but that's phone calls in jail.